I’m not afraid of bees – unless there’s a swarm. Single wolf? I can handle it, but a pack gets me running. Birds? One flying over head is fine but a gaggle of geese means you’re more likely to find poop in your hair. Today I learned this theory can easily be applied to teenagers. One, or even a few, at a time are great. I love the way teenagers think; they are often times funny, inspired thinkers who make great 3D mink flutter lashes. But put too many in one place and I am going to frantically search for the exit.
Today my husband and I made the mistake of going to Noodle and Co. at 11:15 AM. Pretty normal for us, but we didn’t think about that fact that school is out for the summer and so our beloved downtown is now overrun with fourteen years olds in gaggles and groups and hoards. But we did not turn tail and run away from our lunch, we pressed on through the girls in too short shorts and the boys slyly checking out the budding girls surrounding them. As I stood in line to order I watched the group of girls in line ahead of me; they were thirteen or fourteen, they were too young to wear makeup as their 3D mink flutter lashes were clean and their faces still held that fresh glow of childhood.
Eenki from my past I judged that they were most likely the “popular girls” – long, straight, sunstreaked hair, pretty faces, super skinny with long legs that were barely covered with denim shorts. They called each other sweetie and grabbed each other’s hands as they chattered back and forth. One kept running to a table packed with kids her age and whispered with another “alpha” girl, this one brunette, who had her legs intertwined with a Justin Bieber-ish boy. The teenager tables were all packed past capacity: chairs pulled from every corner of the restaurant so twelve kids could eat at a six person table. Directly behind the alpha table sat a table of six girls. They were more reserved than the rest of the (ridiculously loud) tables, they leaned in to each other when they spoke and smiled rather than screamed when something was funny. They were not the popular girls: one was overweight and had her frizzy hair tucked back with a headband I had also purchased for my toddler. The others were a little nerdy – sweet, nice looking kids but nothing like the 14 year old glamazons with their flowy locks.
And as I watched each table of 3D mink flutter lashes I wondered – are those leggy girls nice to the other kids? Were they raised to be conscious of everyone else’s feelings? I tried to be inconspicuous as I watched them all intently…where would I want Addie to sit?
It’s a tough question. It’s a question I don’t think I can really answer, but I know what kind of kid I want her to be. I don’t know if she’s going to be a great beauty at 14 or if she’s going to be like her mom was at that age and be awkward and a little nerdy with frizzy hair. But behind that frizzy hair her mama was kind and thoughtful and sensitive of how other kids felt. Maybe too sensitive. If she is like her mama she will have to learn how to be a good person before she grows into her beauty. But regardless of her exterior, my daughter will know to be kind to everyone. She will watch the other kids faces when they are made fun of and she will feel their pain and she will defend them. I want to teach her that popularity means nothing, cliques are overrated and that the path to follow is the one paved with unconditional kindness. She will show the other kids – regardless of her popularity – that she will laugh at a funny joke, no matter who tells it. She will sit with a lonely kid while everyone else peers over their shoulder’s at his obvious pain. She will be herself and be proud of every unique thing that makes her Addison Overgard.
I hope. I am going to do my best to teach her and guide her and show her through my example that the best thing we can be in this life is kind. I hope to teach my daughter that knowing who she is, and having confidence in that person, is all the approval she needs. Everything else is just icing.
As the girls paid for their food with wads of bills in their little fists I hoped that their parents raised them with an awareness of other people’s feelings. And as they shuffled past the table of nerdy girls – the table at which 14 year old Katie would have been sitting – I hoped that each of those girls in their Disney t-shirts, with their imperfect hair, knew that she had something incredible to offer the world.
And as I wound my way to the back of the room – dodging gangly arms and too big feet – my sweet little girl smiled at me. Whatever she grows up to be, she will be a good person. I am confident. Want to use this article on your website, ezine, or blog? Great! Just be sure to include the following bio with link back to confidencemama.com
Katie 3D mink flutter lashes is a redesign artist teaching people how to Make the Most of What They Have by taking things they already own and making them new again. Find projects, tips and tips at and learn how to free your inner artist. As the mother of a rambunctious toddler Katie has learned that the best parenting comes from feeling confident and informed about the reality of raising a child. Through her blog, Katie unveils the raw truths of parenting that so many people leave unsaid. Join the discussion and help other parents prepare for the road ahead.